"This 8.5"" x 11"" Greatest Lover Diploma states: This diploma certifies that __________________________, has successfully completed the necessary relationship requirements in the areas of sexuality, communication, understanding, tolerance, patience and love, and is, thus, awarded the diploma of Greatest Lover. In witness whereof, I bestow upon her the honorable title of Ideal Woman, by virtue of which she is granted membership in the very select Greatest Lovers Club. _______________________________ Satisfied lover"